The Unforgiven
by Wolvinheart
Summary: It was always for Sammy. Songfic to The Unforgiven.


**A/N**: I know it's been done before, but all the Metallica songs fit perfectly with some of the aspects of how Sam and Dean live, this especially. **Spoilers for all of Season One and All Hell Breaks Loose pt.2.**

* * *

_New blood joins this earth  
And quickly he's subdued  
Through constant pain disgrace  
The young boy learns their rules_

"Dean!"

You snapped to attention, young face red with shame.

"Yes sir."

John crouched down, face set in a harsh light. "Son, I know it's been tough for you, losing your mother and having to look after Sammy like that. But you've gotta learn this, you have to learn the patterns." You nodded, back rigid.

"Now, list the ways to repel a spirit."

_With time the child draws in  
This whipping boy done wrong  
Deprived of all his thoughts  
The young man struggles on and on he's known  
Ooh a vow onto his own  
That never from this day  
His will they'll take away_

"How could you leave Sammy like that! It's you brother Dean, your responsibility, never leave him alone for an instant! Didn't I tell you that Dean?"

You glanced down at the shotgun that you had grabbed from the door, your head giving a jerky nod. You looked up quickly to see your father holding Sammy in a tight embrace, protecting him.

You were supposed to protect Sammy, you'd failed orders.

"Never leave Sammy alone, keep him from harm. I know you're still a boy Dean, but Sammy is the last thing left of your mother that we have, we've got to protect him."

The nine year old nodded, face set in near stone. You had always been too distracted, by the video games, the other kids at the park. Sammy could have died all because of some flashing lights. You wouldn't be distracted again.

_What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never be  
Never see  
Won't see what might have been_

"Again Dean, show your brother how it's done." The thirteen year old picked up the shotgun, making sure Sam was watching in attention before taking careful aim at the target across the feild, pulling the trigger with practised ease. It hit the taget in the gut, missing the heart by a couple inches.

Your father nodded, face indifferent before turning to your brother.

"Do you see how to do it now, Sammy?" The chubby boy nodded, stepping forward to grab the gun.

You watched from the side as a look came over your brothers face, too intense for a person his age, any age. You could see the gun shaking in his hand before it got steady as Sam squared his small shoulders.

The shot rang out as you caught your brother when he fell back from the aftershock. When you looked up he saw the shot had come within a inch of the heart.

John smiled, picking up Sam in a hug.

"You did real good Sammy, we'll have you hittin' the heart in no time."

You quickly pushed back the jealousy that was rising in your chest. Didn't look at the perfect father son moment that they were sharing, what you used to have.

_What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never free  
Never me  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

Fifteen and you were being reprimanded by your father coming in too early. You had to practice throwing knives at the old shed out back, had to get better.

You felt the old shame rising in his chest but decidedly ignored it, you weren't supposed to wallow, just had to do. Your fathers voice shone through your thoughts.

"What if a demon had up and grabbed Sammy and you threw those blades and hit your brother instead because it was too cold. You have to beat the elements Dean. Get it so that you can hit a bulls-eye with numb hands."

Dean nodded, picking up the weapons before heading back out. You distantly remembered that the girl you were supposed to pick up who was probably waiting at the movies for you. She was pretty too, but never more important than Sammy.

_They dedicate their lives  
To running all of his  
He tries to please them all  
This bitter man he is  
Throughout his life the same  
He's battled constantly  
This fight he cannot win  
A tired man they see no longer cares  
The old man then prepares  
To die regretfully  
That old man it was me_

The conflicted ghost reared back, head shaking as it drifted. His dead companion hover near, trapped by the circle, shouting and yelling. John spoke carefully.

"Dean, I need you to find Sammy and get him to read that ritual. You keep on watching, if that spirits makes a move towards your brother, shoot it."

You nodded, slowly backing away to get Sammy from the truck. There had been complications, more souls than they had expected. They had only gotten one of the spirits before the other had knocked the book away.

Sam was always better at getting rid of souls.

Once you cleared the house you ran to the old truck stationed around the block, hurrying to your waiting brother.

"Sammy, there were more bastards then we expected. Dad needs you to preform a double ritual. Now." Sam looked anxious before his face turned determined, he had never preformed something as hard as doing the incatations with double purposes. But you knew he had studied them to hell.

When they got to the house, their father was being backed into a corner, the tortured soul listening to his other.

Sammy quickly began the ritual as you watched the spirit turn towards them in haste. The friend had grown quiet in the circle, with smoldering eyes he watched as the ghost began to fade. Job unfinished.

Before he went you saw his eyes, misty with a constant ache.

_What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never be  
Never see  
Won't see what might have been_

You turned in anger, sorrow, pain. Sam had been the one to get the best grades, have the teachers call in concern because they liked him and wondered why he moved so much, came back with bruises from a hunt.

The same hunt the you lived for, he had never liked the way you did, never felt that satisfaction, sense of purpose you got when you killed something evil.

He didn't see what you saw when you read of the hell that they put people through. Was always restless doing what they did.

Sammy was leaving, going away for college.

You felt pride, you couldn't not feel it, he had gotten a scholorship, you knew how difficult those were, you had read about them once. When he asked you the night before leaving if you would go with him, maybe find a community college because you were still young and had gotten just below average grades throughout high school.

You had turned away.

_What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never free  
Never me  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

You saw you father getting blasted by the demon, flying clear across the room and slaming into a wall. It was a nasty ass son of a bitch, had a taste for human marrow.

Panic rushed through your body as you raised the gun that was still warm in your hand. Bitch moved too fast.

You knew the look in your dads eyes, he wanted the demon to get started on him so you could shoot it when it wasn't concentrating.

In tortured silence you waited as the demon moved in, forgetting you in sight of a willing meal. When it had gotten a taste you shot it, three times more then was necessary.

As you were helping your dad into the car you saw how tired he was, he gaze had moved past you in favor of looking out the window.

You had been too slow, you still weren't good enough yet.

_What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never be  
Never see  
Won't see what might have been_

Seeing your brother again sent a rush through your blood. He looked good, strong, happy. He looked angry now.

The look didn't fit on his face, he had been angry at you before, but never un-happy to see you. That ugly look wasn't supposed to cross his face.

When the blonde had come out shock had coursed through you.

She looked like mom.

_What I've felt  
What I've known  
Never shined through in what I've shown  
Never free  
Never me  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

You woke up to a smell, death, you had gotten used to the sickly sweet scent over the years. Looking around the dingy place you saw rock, others tied. It was then you realised you couldn't feel your arms, they were probably tied as well.

Sammy was out there, you weren't there to protect him, you had gotten caught. These were you last thoughts before the dark claimed you.

When you came to your brother was there, saving you.

He could have been hurt, he had risked himself for you.

You ignored the girl, turning away from her look to go to Sammy, he was leaning against the car and you couldn't help but feel relieved when you found that he was going with you, wouldn't leave.

You had been trapped, risked yourself for someone who didn't matter and that had left Sammy alone.

_Never free  
Never me  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

You watched as the thing that had your face walked away, he was getting Sammy. In panic you stuggled, wasted energy. You had failed, been tricked.

Sam would get hurt, hell, he probably was hurt. You hadn't been strong enough to fight off the thing.

You'd just have to get stronger.

_You labeled me  
I'll label you  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

With a clenching of your gut you turned away from Cassie. Sam was leaning against the car, confused look on his face, morphing into a knowing look. He taunted, hinted, the little bitch.

But he didn't know.

What she had done to you after you had trusted her. What you had done back.

_Never free  
Never me  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

Damn. These were sick sons of bitches, humans. Crazy ones at that. The little girl circled you and you felt sorrow, flashes of pity for her. She had never known anything else.

Your father had taught you to hunt demons, the evils that hide in the dark. Hers had taught her to hunt innocents, turned her into something evil, it wasn't her fault.

But she had aided in the capture of Sammy, she had stood by while her father and uncles had hurt all those people.

Wasn't her fault, but she would pay for it.

_You labeled me  
I'll label you  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

Your mind went into overdrive and you could feel the memories coming back, bad memories.

It was back, what had tried to take Sammy, what you had failed at killing. Dad had sent you here for a reason. It had to die, it had marked your family.

Taken you for something weak

_Never free  
Never me  
So I dub thee unforgiven_

One year.

365 days. Less.

The demon was dead, what had killed your mother, taken your father, hurt your brother. But there were hundreds of others that they had to get, you had to save the people that would face the aftershocks of what had happened.

Like when you had caught Sam.

You had to be prepared, had to make it worthwhile.

All for Sammy.

* * *


End file.
